I just went and made a salad at Whole Foods. They have a small container of cilantro with a really little scoop so you can basically just sprinkle some on top. My question is… Would it be unacceptable to just dump that sucker out into my salad box and throw a few toppings on and make a cilantro salad? I mean, can I…can I get in trouble for that? Because I want it bad.
DO IT. DO IT AND SEE WHO DARES OBJECT. FUCK THEIR LITTLE SCOOP. BARK MENACINGLY AT ANYONE WHO TRIES TO APPROACH YOU. BREAK THE NECKS OF ALL WHO IMPEDE YOUR PROGRESS. BURN THE WHOLE PLACE DOWN IF SOMEONE SO MUCH AS GLANCES AT YOU.
FUCK A GROCERY STORE, FUCK FREE RANGE FAIR TRADE HAND-MASSAGED SEITAN SHAPED TO RESEMBLE A ROASTED BIRD. FUCK HUMANE HONEY HANDJOBBED JACKOFF BEES SMUG LITTLE CUNTS. FUCK A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT THAT CAUSES YOU TO SECOND-GUESS YOUR CILANTRO DESIRES.
MARCH UP AND DOWN THE ISLES SPRAYING PISS IN ALL DIRECTIONS, MOUTH FILLED WITH CILANTRO, GREEN GEMS TUMBLING TO THE FLOOR WITH EACH VICIOUS SHAKE OF YOUR HEAD. LEAVE YOUR MARK. DEMONSTRATE YOUR FERAL NATURE, YOUR UNIMPEACHABLE VITALITY. OVERTURN THE TABLES, TOPPLE THE SHELVES. SCREAM FOR YOUR DOMESTICATED, CORRUPTED, CORRODED SOUL. SCREAM FOR ALL THE ANCIENT GENETIC MEMORIES THAT CILANTRO RE-CONNECTS TO YOUR SPIRIT.
(besides, the checkout clerks never open the salad boxes up to scrutinize the contents.)
