STEMS
IT’S A THING
DOOOOO IT
joel made pico de gallo pizza. he is a food genius. when he was conceived, his parents were fucking over the stove, dad all reaching around to stir a roux while mom sauteed some onions with her right hand and worked the balls with her left.
you can’t forget to give the stepchildren some attention, ladies.
LET’S TAKE A TOUR OF MY MIND
first i was all ‘hm, something something cherry on top.’ but then ‘cherry’ led to ‘hymen’ and all of a sudden i’m mentally tearing through giant cilantro leaves with my turgid member.
NO APOLOGIES
NO REFUNDS
(thx peter)
WHY WON’T ANYONE BUY MY EDIBLE NECKLACES AND EARRINGS
NOT EVEN THE PAINTINGS MADE OF SALSA
NOT EVEN THE GODDAMN CILANTRO G-STRINGS
WHYYYYYYY
(thx daniel)
smoked pork rib tacos via mumblelard.
i take back all the mean things i’ve said to you, buddy.
fuck, that looks so delicious my dick is crying right now.
OH NO WAIT THAT’S PRE-CUM.
BOURDAIN FORGOT TO REP THE CILANTRO AND IS THEREFORE DEAD TO ME
(also he didn’t give my boys in Istanbul a spot on his show, the jackass)
"you might as well be eating ketchup"
— bitch, please. sambal oelek? do all your condiments of choice come in an effete little jar? do you keep a tiny sterling spoon on a chain around your neck for when everyone else is merrily squirting or pouring away? if i want your tongue wagging i’ll spoon some sambal oelek onto my glans, mkay?
nectarine salad with cilantro, scallions and feta
okay, god, i forgive you for inventing guidos.
